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Monday, April 18, 2011

Monday Moments {Ponderings}

I was discussing the idea of "being hurt" with a friend of mine {whose anonymity wishes I will respect}, when it occurred to me that this is a universal thought. This is something we all struggle in.

She was telling me of some instances in her childhood in which her trust was betrayed by her supposed friends. People that she opened up to and extended the hand of friendship.

Our discussion made me think of some things:

If people have hurt you in the past--people you loved and trusted--than does it affect your relationship with other people today?

And, why--after being hurt in such a manner--would you as a person want to open yourself up again to others?

Also, if you have been hurt in the past...do you have the right to disregard that person every time you meet them?

So, first thought--If people have hurt you in the past--people you loved and trusted--than does it affect your relationship with other people today?


My thought is yes. If one has been hurt, they will be less inclined to allow people into their lives. I also think that each time the trust and friendship they offer to another person is broken, they become more and more cynical. It would be hard for them to think that they won't be betrayed. It would be hard for them to believe their friends did not have ulterior motives--no matter how small. Those that have been hurt hold people at arms length disillusioning themselves that they will be "safe" from getting hurt.

But, what kind of life is that? If you can't love deeply; if you can't trust explicitly, than why bother? Not to say that you shouldn't be without discernment, for that is an excellent character quality to have. No, putting a barrier around yourself only causes you to be lonely. To become a cynic.

And just what good does that do for you? It seems like your soul is just slowly shriveling up; you can't be afraid to take risks--you can't just live in "bubble wrap" all your life. Everything in life requires some risk--some sacrifice.

Besides, what good is it holding on to hurts that have happened in the past? There is no point in being bitter about it, because you are the one suffering. And you can't change the past. You can only give your hurts to God and work on keeping your own heart soft. And make sure you are worthy of your friend's trust and love.

What do you think?
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